Parenting

          this week in class we learned about parenting and the importance of parenting as well as what to expect and how to do a decent job with it. this is a pretty important topic because a lot of people let themselves be driven crazy by children or get stressed out of their minds thinking about having kids of their own. but here are a few points that hopefully can make parenting a less daunting task.

   -parent responses should be need based not behavior based (most children will act out because they feel that they are getting a lack of attention or recognition. its their way of fighting back and trying to get you to notice them.)
   -all people as well as children need some type of verbal, physical, or eye contact of some type so that they can understand that they are important and have a sense of belonging. (show them that you care about them by respectfully listening to them and validate what they say, take time out of your day just for them)
    -most kids act out disobediently or in an annoying way to get attention, contact or recognition of some sort.
    -teach kids the consequences of their actions and make sure the consequence is directly tied to the action. . . dont punish a child for painting on the wall by making him mow the lawn. make him clean the wall.

              here is a model to understand how children act to get contact and belonging in an incorrect way (mistaken approach) and how you can help your child to steer away from that and maybe even not act out much at all (wise parenting)

                                   Contact and Belonging
Mistaken Approach                                        Wise Parenting
*undue attention seeking                                 *offer contact freely
   -misbehavior                                                    -within appropriate bounds
   -substance abuse, ect.                                       -as accepted by child
                                                                        *teach to contribute
                                                                            -chores, help at home
                                                                            -young men/young women, scouts, sports teams
                                                                            -always encourage to help the family/family member

                If you have any comments or advice on parenting for my wife and i that would be great to. we dont have children and it would be nice to have an idea of what to expect and get some advice from people with other family experiences when growing up or present family experiences that are different from ours.