For this blog post i am going to concentrate on the importance of creating a strong bond and relationship with your new/step children if you are a step parent who has recently re-married. if you are in this situation it is definitely a difficult one because i am sure that you are coming to realize if you haven't already that you and your new spouse have different expectations for how your children should be raised, disciplined, or even rewarded or congratulated for things that they do. one of the most common fears of step parents is overstepping their bounds and sabotaging the relationship that they have with their step children unknowingly or accidentally. if this is a concern of yours here are 4 points to take into consideration that can help give you guidance in this situation.
1-take at least 2 years to reach an understanding of normalcy with your step children.
-this means that instead of coming in and being a heavy disciplinarian right away as you come into the home, you should talk with your spouse about you being the disciplinarian for your children and your spouse for his/hers. this will allow you to establish a good relationship with your step children instead of being seen as a person who jumped into the role of disciplinarian and has become seen as only an authoritarian parent. what is meant by normalcy is that you are consistent in how you interact with your step children and your own children so that they can get to know you for your personality, humor, likes and dislikes, so their is less ambiguity.
2-the biological parent has to be the heavy disciplinarian of his/her own children at first.
-the reasons for this are explained above.
3-the step parent needs to take the role of an amazing uncle or aunt. this means they need to be supportive and show warmth with the mom/dad and stepchildren.
4- time must be taken to discuss and address the role of the parent and step parent in multiple situations.
if you have any other suggestions please feel free to comment so that i can learn more about this topic myself. thanks.
No comments:
Post a Comment