Communication Within Marriage

There is a lot of research out there on the importance of communication on marriage that you may have read. the most well known to those i have talked to have been John Gottman, Mark Chamberlain, Sue Johnson as well as other. because so much has been studied on this topic and so many people focus only on the means of communicating instead of the emotions behind the words i think i will talk about the importance of being open with your emotions to your spouse. expressing emotions seems to be extremely easy for girls if you are a man, and if you are a man most of us have been told or taught since early in life that if we show any emotion that exhibits weakness than we are wusses, weak, or even stupid or just making a fool of ourselves. this definitely sets men back quite a bit if they want to approach and try to use this skill, but the learning curve can be steep i have learned.
to really resolve an issue in marriage or to be able to understand one another on a deeper level, it is essential that we understand the emotional ties that each-other have on certain issues and towards one another. in Councillor they teach the councilor how to reflect emotion. most men can learn how to do that pretty well, but to express emotion is something different. when we express emotion we are making ourselves vulnerable to the other person. this is scary but it can have incredible effects.
if we share our emotion with our spouses and express if something hurt us or how something makes us feel we can connect with our partner on a deeper, less superficial level. now the important part is not to go out and yell and scream about everything, because anger is usually not the primary emotion, but what causes anger is usually fear, sadness, and hurt. if we keep this in mind we can learn to really connect and find out what is really troubling us or our spouse.