Mormon Culture and Courtship

      One thing that i have always been fascinated by at BYU-Idaho is the strange cultural importance of getting married as quickly as is humanly possible. It seems like dating has lost its importance or sway and people tend to go on 2 or 3 dates and become quickly preoccupied with either their own thoughts of marriage or roommates, friends, or family members bringing up the topic of marriage to them because 3 dates shows so much promise and means so much in the area of commitment. It seems to me that people are concentrating too much on the Brethrens talks about the importance of marriage or getting married and not on their talks about courtship, dating, or finding the right person. If this truly is the case and isn't just what i am perceiving than i am worried about the problems that can stem from a line of thinking such as this.
       In class this week we learned about the importance of dating and courtship before marriage and we looked at the research on the marital happiness and satisfaction of people who dated less than three months before committing to marriage or getting married. Before i get into the research on dating i think it is important to define what dating truly is according to the brethren of the church.
      The attributes of a date and what each attribute shows according to the Brethren:
           Paired off        -       Protect
           Planned out     -       Preside
           Paid for           -       Provide
      Dating is not just hanging out in this case but is an activity that will show these three attributes. These are important because then the relationship parameters and hopes can be more clearly defined, if one is looking for a relationship, and multiple attributes and characteristics of your companion on the date can be viewed or perceived by what they do according to these three attributes. This being said, research has shown that people should typically date longer than three months, if not much longer, because after this amount of time your partners behavior in multiple situations will have been viewed by you so that you can make a more informed decision as if to marry them or not. Also, after three months typically the good face or mask begins to come off. I think we can all identify that early in a relationship we all put on our best face for the person we are dating. Typically this holds towards marriage in a short courtship, so frequently a spouse may say to him or herself, "this isn't the person i married" or "I never knew or saw this side of my partner." I want it to be clear that this is not the case for every marriage that happens after a short time of knowing someone or dating but statistics have shown that people who follow the trend of marriage stated above have a greater likelihood to end in divorce.
      The question then is what do we do about this issue or is it an issue at all? Do the brethren really push so hard for marriage that it trumps what they say about dating in members minds? Is this pattern fine for Mormons?
       I don't know the the answers to these questions but it will be interesting to see what marital trends come of these cultural trends. 
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