This week in class we talked a lot about the different roles and characteristics that male and female genders have. After looking at this list and talking with my wife about it we came to realize that there were some interesting differences between her and me. Here is the list we came up with in class.
Male Female
Aggressive Cooperative
Competitive Passive
Spacial Oriented Relationship Oriented
Task Oriented More Nurturing
Analytically Minded Landmark Orientated
Closed Emotionally Emotionally Minded
Detail Oriented
Open Emotionally
An important thing to consider about this list is that these characteristics are not representative of all males and females. This list only states what characteristics a large majority of the male population and female population have.
For example, i am not a competitive person by any means. What i find myself doing more in competitive situations is egging the competitive people on and giving them a hard time because i find that kind of thing hilarious. I understand that this might not be the best thing to do but so far i haven't been beat up doing it. My wife however is extremely competitive and very aggressive on jumping on any opportunity that is presented to her. I am similar in aggressiveness but i don't jump on every opportunity in the moment until i have analyzed the pros and cons.
My wife is very emotionally minded and open however which does lead to some pretty interesting conversations and situations because men find those situations difficult. i am also very analytically minded and task oriented whereas my wife is very detail oriented and relationship oriented.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
immigration and its Affects on the Family
This is a very interesting subject to me because i served a Spanish speaking mission in Houston Texas so i met a lot of men who had been away from there families for anywhere from 3 months to 12 years gaining money for them in America that they could send home. Many of these men loved their families but while teaching them i did notice that a lot of them had become very disconnected with their families back in central america and mexico. Some had been reunited with their families in America and even though it was a happy reunion they expressed that it was extremely difficult to live with their families again and that their kids were not as respectful or responsive to them.
In class this week we learned more about how the family systems theory could explain why these families, even after being reunited could still be so distant. I am not going to explain the full reasoning behind the possible explanations of why this could happen but instead i am going to ask you to put yourselves in the shoes of families in these types of situations.
What roles in the family would you assume or how would your life be different if you were a 13 year old child in mexico with two sisters and your father had been absent from the home working in america for 2 years. what if your spouse was the one who had left for america and you were left to take care of all of the children and provide for them when you didn't receive enough money from your spouse? How would it be harder to communicate with your spouse? Would talking on the phone weekly be enough to maintain a healthy relationship and the intimacy that you shared before?
Now think after all of this time how you would act if you were reunited with your family. would it be the same? would things easily go back to the way they were, even if your family moved to america? Would it be harder?
These are some pretty crazy questions that i had heard during my mission and in class and they got me thinking about how difficult it would be and the sacrifice that is being made by families so that they can receive the monetary support they need to survive.
In class this week we learned more about how the family systems theory could explain why these families, even after being reunited could still be so distant. I am not going to explain the full reasoning behind the possible explanations of why this could happen but instead i am going to ask you to put yourselves in the shoes of families in these types of situations.
What roles in the family would you assume or how would your life be different if you were a 13 year old child in mexico with two sisters and your father had been absent from the home working in america for 2 years. what if your spouse was the one who had left for america and you were left to take care of all of the children and provide for them when you didn't receive enough money from your spouse? How would it be harder to communicate with your spouse? Would talking on the phone weekly be enough to maintain a healthy relationship and the intimacy that you shared before?
Now think after all of this time how you would act if you were reunited with your family. would it be the same? would things easily go back to the way they were, even if your family moved to america? Would it be harder?
These are some pretty crazy questions that i had heard during my mission and in class and they got me thinking about how difficult it would be and the sacrifice that is being made by families so that they can receive the monetary support they need to survive.
Unspoken Rules and Family Roles
This week we have been studying family systems theory and there have been a few interesting things that i found interesting in the context of my own family. Before jumping into that topic though i want to explain a little bit about what family systems theory consists of. This theory views the family as a living organism or a machine with moving and essential parts. It takes parts of the sociological theories of structural functionalism along with symbolic interactionism to help describe the roles and rules of each member of the family. In saying that each member in the family has a specific role or roles that they should perform doesn't necessarily mean that these roles are being performed or cannot be different for each family or person.
An example of how family systems theory would portray the family could be by comparing the family to the human body. the parents could be the brain, left side and right, because they help to guide the family through certain trials and can be considered the "heads" of the family.
One of the most interesting as well as entertaining things to do to figure out how this theory can apply to the family is to brainstorm some of the unspoken rules of your own family. Many of these rules were never written down or told to us in a family council but we learned them through breaking them and experiencing the consequences which could range from a dirty look to a painful flick on the head.
Here are some of the unwritten rules of my family.
1. Never open any bag or package of food without dads permission.
2. Never ask for money, but it is always available for collage funds if you just ask. (Weird)
3. Never ask for help.
4. Always try and fix everything yourself before you ask for help or call a professional.
5. The curled potato chips are for dad, then whichever ones he misses are all yours.
Who would have thought that some of the family rules we had would be so contradictory or funny.
An example of how family systems theory would portray the family could be by comparing the family to the human body. the parents could be the brain, left side and right, because they help to guide the family through certain trials and can be considered the "heads" of the family.
One of the most interesting as well as entertaining things to do to figure out how this theory can apply to the family is to brainstorm some of the unspoken rules of your own family. Many of these rules were never written down or told to us in a family council but we learned them through breaking them and experiencing the consequences which could range from a dirty look to a painful flick on the head.
Here are some of the unwritten rules of my family.
1. Never open any bag or package of food without dads permission.
2. Never ask for money, but it is always available for collage funds if you just ask. (Weird)
3. Never ask for help.
4. Always try and fix everything yourself before you ask for help or call a professional.
5. The curled potato chips are for dad, then whichever ones he misses are all yours.
Who would have thought that some of the family rules we had would be so contradictory or funny.
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